Time goes by...

Time seems to slip by without anything to blog about - I read all the blogs of my wonderful friends and their lives seem so fun and busy - My life consists of catching cheaters in Accounting class, taking Katey to dance, volleyball, Young Women's, dance, volleyball and anywhere else she can think of; grading papers; working at my other jobs and trying to see some sort of happiness in life.

I have been so moody lately and not wanting to even do ANYTHING but stay home - I don't even feel like I have the strength to go to my Mom's house on Sunday - I finally forced myself to go shopping today, since Christmas is coming pretty soon - but even then I wasn't gone very long and had to get back home - hopefully once this week is over I will be able to work through whatever it is I am going through.....

Can't wait to see my girls that have gone away to school - hope I get to spend time with them and maybe their happiness will rub off on me!

Cancer....AGAIN!

Well - cancer is striking again! A fellow teacher has been battling breast cancer for almost a year, and now it has gone everywhere! They have sent her home from the hospital with a grim prognosis....and she is young and has young children! Why do we have to have this horrible disease on our planet? This is the third person in my life that will lose their battle with cancer within 8 months...

Why?

It's been awhile....

So - at some point my life has become WAY too busy. I blame most of this on my beautiful daughter Katey. She is an active child and is involved in dance, played school volleyball and is now playing club volleyball. Club volleyball takes up both of our time at this time in our life. I do all the finance stuff for the club, so that I get a discount on Katey's fees - YEEHAW! It is worth it for me.

Had a great visit this last weekend with all my sisters. Tiff and Deb were both in town. Tiff of course brought baby Ian and I got great cuddle time! I love cuddling with him, he is such a cute cuddler!

Other than school and volleyball, not much else going on....can't believe next week is Thanksgiving! And then Christmas?!?

Where did Fall Break Go?

WOW - that four days went way too fast!!! Last I remembered it was Weds night and I had four days off....well not anymore - it is now Sunday night and I have school in the morning! How did that happen?

Not much going on in life right now - I have talked more to my sis Deb in the past two weeks than I had for about six months - I think she and my Mom think I am going to have a nervous breakdown or something - but if I hear the words "I think you need counseling" one more time I may lose it on them....!

Well, back to school I go - FBLA adventure this Friday!!!

Closure....

Yesterday was Gary Cope's funeral - he is my real dad. I have been all sorts of things this week - frustrated, sad, angry, confused, lost - just all around emotional. I saw him two hours before he passed away - I went to his house to see him and I was able to say goodbye to him - to tell him that I was sorry and to tell him that I forgave him - Mom asked me to tell him that she forgave him also - and then he was gone.

His memorial service was unique to say the least - his wife didn't shed a tear - Mom came with Debbie and I and she cried more than his wife did - she got closure and she needed it. One thing that happened was I was reintroduced to four of my five uncles. They were in shock that Deb and I were there - and so happy. I am not a real tight huggy type, but all four of them grabbed me and wouldn't let go. They had missed me. For 43 years they knew I was around, but didn't get to see me. That was a bonus - and will continue to be one as we try to establish a relationship.

So, closure on that part of my life, and yet a new door opened. I just hope I have the courage to open the door and walk through it.

Saying Goodbye....

Today I did one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life. I told the man responsible for me being here goodbye. He is dying.....the last time I saw him he was still looking ok - today he wasn't. He has shrunk down to nothing, is very jaundiced and unresponsive. I am angry at his wife for not letting me know it was getting bad before he is this far gone. I believe however, that he heard what I had to say. He looked me in the eyes and I know he heard me. I forgave him which was even harder than seeing him as sick as he was. I know I have had feelings of anger, resentment and hate towards Gary for all of my life. I never understood how he could walk away from his children and give them up without a fight. I don't know that I will ever understand that, especially since I have become a mother and could NEVER leave my children no matter what!!!

When I was younger I always had thoughts that Gary would come see me and tell me that he really did want me - and he was sorry he left. I always wanted to believe that he was thinking of me and still loved me. But he never came...I found him when I was 21 and saw him a few times, but we never established an ongoing relationship...I have seen him several times over the years and still wonder if he thought of me...

So, the end is here and I am feeling confused, distraught and sad. I will survive however, because I am strong and I have a great family all around me. I couldn't ask for a better father that raised me and whom I consider my Dad - he has sacrificed so much for me and given me a fantastic life - I am so glad I have had the life I have lived.

Goodbye Gary - Michael is there to greet you - tell him I still need my big brother to watch over me.

Wednesday......

Well it's Wednesday.....and I am fed up with students already this week - I do not understand how students come to class to just sit there and do nothing! 90 minutes of staring at a wall....why????? I won't let them sleep in peace, so two students sat and stared....did NOTHING!!!

Can someone let me in on the thought that goes through students' minds that allow them to waste time like that????

On another note - Mud Games for Homecoming Week was a HUGE success today - Assembly tomorrow - first time in the stadium - PLEASE pray that it will go well - and be a success!!!!

Still no date to the dance, Trace isn't available!

It's Homecoming Time!

Northridge's Homecoming Week is next week and I am so excited for it to get here...The senior officers are working hard to make the week a great one! We are adding a few events to the week to try and improve school spirit - which could use a boost at Northridge. We are a great school, but the lack of school spirit is very sad! Hopefully we can boost it!

So, if you are wondering what to do next week - come to Northridge - Tailgate party at 5:30 on Friday - Game at 7 - Dance on Saturday night!! Will be a great time...

Now if only Trace could be my date for the dance.....now that would be a Homecoming to remember!

Hmmmm.....

Well, not a whole heck of a lot going on to post about, but I thought I would write anyway. School is going so well - I was a little worried about having so many accounting classes to teach - 5 of my 6 classes, but it isn't that bad - The only problem I have is by the time I have taught the same thing more than twice, it takes about 1/2 as long because I have either forgotten to talk about some things, or I have made any tweaks that needed to be made to make it go smoother.

I am not sure I like this year's classes as much as I did last year - I miss so many of my friends from last year - and the year before - I keep expecting them to walk in to say hey in between classes, or coming to tutorial just to catch up - but they don't....

As I write this I am watching Hoarders...I have to say that the way some people live is absolutely horrifying -- the ones that get me the most are the ones that have their kids living in their filth. I like the end product most of the time - but tonight the end result was still so filthy that it is a good thing the city still condemned it! Just watching one of these shows makes me look around and not care whether or not I throw stuff away!

By the way - got to set the DVR for Leno tonight!!! My Trace alert came to remind me that he is on tonight!!! There is no way I will be awake, but can't miss the opportunity to hear that voice!!!

I am blessed!

I certainly have one of the best lives around - I am blessed with all sorts of friends and people that I love - One of the reasons I love my job is the GREAT people that I get to associate with. Even though at the end of each school year I have to watch some of them grow up and walk away from me, I still can count them as my friends!! I grow to love so many of these people that being at school without them is hard!

I also have a fantastic family - my parents, sisters, brothers-in-law, husband and kids are great! They accept me for who I am and what I do!

THANKS! to everyone who has touched my life - you know who you are!!!

I need to vent!!!!

I am so d*** mad and upset right now. The small-mindedness of some individuals kills me. I have been told that I cannot be friends with a person that I have known for well over 20 years. What kind of crap is that???? I can't help that she is threatened by me - but she needs to know that she can have him!!! I am very happily married and Tom and I are doing great (not saying that Trace isn't still an option ;-0 ) but get over yourself and your attitude.

OK - maybe I am feeling better now - perhaps I need to take a page from amanda-maxine and learn how to relax!!!!!

Labor Day Weekend...

Well - Here I am sitting at home on Labor Day Weekend. Not much going on in my life right now - Katey-bug has gone to a Mountain Man rendezvous with a good friend, so our house is very quiet and boring!

Last week school was an absolute nightmare - the computers were not working, so I had to come up with other ways for the students to do their assignments, and that takes a lot out of you - I was down to it being a movie day when they decided to work! Administration hates movies, but when you are left with nothing else, that is what happens!

This week my Dad is going to have a hip replacement - the only scary part is his heart problems could cause a problem with the anesthetic - but I have faith that all will go good - and hopefully he will be out of the pain that he has been in for awhile! I will be taking the day off to sit with Mom at the hospital so she doesn't have to sit alone - I will sacrifice a day of school to do that....

Still thinking about that horrible Cancer - I really should make a phone call to Salt Lake to check on someone, but am scared as to what the answer will be - Guess I will call Deb to see if she has heard anything!

One Week Down.....

I survived the first week of school! I am somewhat crazy because I decided to have a little surgery two days before I was to be back at school - but it was minor and I knew if I didn't do it, it was going to be a very bad year for me - I have plantar fasciitis which has made it very hard for me to walk and stand for very long and some days even for a few minutes...so I had a surgery where they cut the tendon in my calf so that it will elongate and not be as tight in my heels - Good news-it worked!!! The pain in my right foot is gone!!!! Now just a few more months and then hopefully the left one will be successful as well! My goal this weekend was to work hard on walking without any limping - and I have done pretty good! WooHoo!

On to week 2 - and hopefully not having 36+ in my classes!

Well.....I'm not real good at this!

Haven't been back since June - but I really want to try to do this! Summer was so much fun!

The absolute BEST part was on June 26 in Wendover, Nevada! I met the most wonderful, handsome, gorgeous and my dream guy Trace Adkins. Oh Boy, thought I was going to faint and pee my pants at the same time! His voice when he talked to me made my knees weak!! Whew...good thing my Tommy understands my love for Trace....

I loved all three of my vacations - New York City was fun fun fun even though it was super duper HOT!!! The natives said they were having a heat wave and it usually wasn't that hot that early in the summer - just my luck!!!! I loved all the great students I went with - going to miss all of them now that they are big kids and all graduated! LOVED Wicked on Broadway! What a fantastic trip!

Back for two days then Katey and I were off to California!!! Loaded the car and off we went - a stop in Vegas where it was 100 at 11:00 at night - YUCK! Then off to San Diego where we walked and walked and walked at the Zoo, Wild Animal Park and Sea World. Loved being with my Katey-bug and my sister Jenn and her family - we had FUN! Then after the 3 long days of WALKING, we drove to Anaheim for a few days in Disneyland! All I could think of at that point was how bad I wanted to cut my poor diseased feet off! It is the happiest place on Earth - but my feet were definitely not happy! Thanks to Mom and Dad for renting me a scoot scoot so I could join in the fun rather than laying at the Hotel which is where I was headed....but don't think they didn't get a few front of the line benefits for being with me and the scoot!

Long drive home, arrived at 8 p.m. Monday and had to be at the Airport the next morning for my long awaited trip to the 2 star Holiday Inn Express in Nashville Tennessee!!!! That was very tongue in cheek because we were supposed to be at a 5 STAR hotel, but instead got the HI Express and lots of time spent on a tour bus....and then of all things, the huge mall in Nashville was flooded too, so not a lot of shopping! :-( Overall however it was a great time, would have been better without the 98 degrees with 98% HUMIDITY. My hair is really straight normally, but I was even turning into a frizz ball head of something! And don't you worry - I looked for my man Trace everywhere I went.....however I drew the line at trying to find his house and become one of THOSE kind of stalkers!

So now, it is BACK AT SCHOOL!

The beginning...

Well I have done it - started a blog....not sure why, but thought since I don't ever write in a journal, maybe I will remember what happens if I write it here! Summer is great! One week off of work so far and have loved every day of sleeping in!

I have a great summer of vacations planned, and will make sure to blog about them as they come and go...

Today though I am thinking alot about how cancer sucks! A co-worker is in the last stages of the horrible disease and is in pain and suffering. Why does this happen to some of the greatest people? Other people in my life are also affected by this disease and it really makes me stop and think. How does 'it' choose who to affect?

Well - hopefully I will be good at this - !